All aboard the fail boat!

I’m trying to be level-headed about this, and not be too crushed. It just really bites that every time I hold an art contest and offer free stuff, it seems like no one participates because it requires them to actually do something. But when I hold a contest where all anyone has to do is repost something, everyone and their neighbor lines up for it.
I don’t understand… is it just that people automatically assume that their artwork isn’t good enough and they won’t win anyway? Or is it really too much work to draw a picture? Because if it’s the former, then no one is going to win, because no one is entering because no one thinks they’re good enough… That’s a sad way to live.
Have some self-esteem, people! You don’t have to be the very best like no one ever was! You just have to have confidence, man. And confidence is a crucial part of becoming better at what you do.
If you’re afraid that your work isn’t good enough, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show it off. Practice makes perfect, and if you show off what you do now, you’ll be surprised how many people like it. And what’s more is that when you do start to improve, people will have all your older stuff to look at and see how far you’ve come.
I know it’s probably a little late to be saying this for the contest, since it’s ending in a little more than a week… But the same stuff applies, even when no contest is involved.
Don’t hide your creativity just because you don’t think it’s good enough. Remember: You are your own worst critic.

In other news, there really isn’t any news, except that no one from “nonspecific production company” has said a word to me in two months, and I’m starting to think it’s not going to happen. So, if you’re a *different* production company, and you’re actually *serious* about working with me, do feel free to contact me, because it’s not like I haven’t also tried to make contact with them, only to be ignored. 

Fan Art Contest in the Works

Hello once again, my lovely humans. I bring good news of contests and free swag! (This is the only time you will ever hear me use the word “swag.” Aw, crap, I said it again.)
If you’re into getting free stuff, you should pop on over to my DeviantART journal and fill your eyeballs with information about a 400+ watcher contest that I am hoping to hold within the next week or so. If you don’t have a DeviantART account, you should probably make one, if for no other reason than to participate in the contest. It’s easier for me to hold a contest on a single website, instead of trying to spread it across several of them. And since the contest is centered around the amount of watchers I have acquired, it’s only fitting that it take place on DeviantART, where the watchers exist.

I intend for everyone who participates to receive a small prize of some sort. This might be digital or physical, depending on what people are able to receive (some entrants may be children with protective parents who, for obvious reasons, don’t want them sharing their address with random strangers on the internet).
I will probably pick a first place winner and a second place winner to receive the big prizes, which at this point, I am thinking will involve Lisa Merch and original, one of a kind, signed artwork.

Facts behind the fiction.

I have finished my project that I mentioned in a previous post, and now that it’s done, I feel extremely bored. This is bad, especially considering the brand new copy of Mario Kart 8 that is sitting about five feet away from me.
Anyway, due to this boredom, and partially due to the fact that I am about to post the project on DeviantART, I decided to write a little blog entry to talk a bit about the project and explain how I did some of the things I did… You know, in case anyone is interested in the process.

“Howdju du dat?”
I spent a few weeks thinking very hard about how I wanted to execute this project. Originally, I wanted to do it in the form of a teenage girl’s scrap book. I quickly trashed this idea when I realized the following:

  • I am very, very bad at scrap booking stuff.
  • It’s harder to get into the character’s mind through something as impersonal as a scrap book.

But a plain journal just wasn’t going to cut it. It would be far too boring and probably pretty tl;dr for most people. Not only that, but I prefer for my work to be fairly vague instead of direct and straightforward. I like to bury things and let the reader figure it out for themselves.
Last Christmas, I got pretty much nothing in the way of gifts, which is one of those things you get to look forward to when you grow up. (Trust me, you get used to it.) But my brother, being the generous guy he is, gave me one of his gifts that he didn’t really want, which happened to be something called a “Visual Journal Kit.” It came with a really lame DVD that I didn’t actually watch and yada yada, this story detour is taking too long, but basically, I decided maybe I’d try something like that.
Cool story, bro.

Okay, but the pictures. All of the photos in this project were my own actual photos that I took myself with an actual camera. A lot of the disfigured photos are old pictures of people who I no longer remember. I needed photos, and since I could pick them up and no longer recognize who I was looking at, they had no sentimental value to me. Still, to protect their identity (and also, of course, to add creepy effect), I made sure to obscure all of the faces in various ways, mostly by melting the photo.
Fun Fact: Never attempt this technique with an old fashioned Polaroid photo. The stench will haunt you in your nightmares for the next twenty years.
And speaking of the Polaroids, I’m not going to tell you exactly how I did them (yay for trade secrets!), but I will say that I do have an old Polaroid One Step. I bought it from a Goodwill, for probably about $10, which seems like a steal until you take into account the fact that it is pretty busted. Whatever mechanism inside that is supposed to squish out the developer solution and spread it across the photo paper doesn’t really do a very good job, but it was passable up until the third Polaroid in this project when it conveniently actually did stop working properly. It fit in perfectly with everything else, so I just ran with it.

The creative process.
Writing something like this involves just kind of letting my brain shut down and do its own thing… But not too much, otherwise I just end up drawing frilly bits and writing butts on everything. If I can get into the perfect state between fully conscious and just kind of… there? Then I can spend a long time just letting the psychobabble flow freely.

How it ties into my real life.
None of the people or events in this story are real. However, personal experience does play at least a minor role in just about any artist’s work. In my case, it’s two main things: The amusement park and the mental hospital.
When I was fifteen, I was sent to a mental hospital over a huge misunderstanding involving me being angry at someone (who overreacted and called the cops) and the police finding an empty Zoloft bottle (which didn’t even belong to me and was empty because the prescription needed a refill). In general, it was an incredibly stupid chain of events. But the time I spent there wasn’t completely useless. It gave me a lot of insight into what these sorts of places are like from an insider’s perspective, including all their ridiculous rules, and yes- most of them are actually rules. They take your shoelaces so you can’t hang yourself. They keep pointy things away from you unless you’re supervised, so you can’t stab yourself. And if you want anything with caffeine, your doctor must approve it.
In short, it sucks.
As far as the amusement park goes, well… It is, or at least it was a real park until it really did close eight years ago in the wake of a certain hurricane. It was a place I spent a lot of time as a child, and being one of the few things I can clearly remember from my past, was very dear to my heart. The sad part is that I didn’t find out what happened to it until eight years later when I finally decided to take a vacation back to my hometown, and when I did find out, it was almost traumatic for me. It felt like an old friend had died, only I found out eight years too late.
The hurricane that killed it was the same hurricane that rearranged my life and landed me in my current home in the armpit of the earth.
Anyway, the photos I used were real photos of a real amusement park that really is abandoned.

Flipping through, I can’t really think of anything else to say about it, but as always, don’t be afraid to ask me questions if you have any. As long as you’re not a jerk and your question is legitimate, I will always take the time to answer you.

Speak No Evil?

It has been about six months, and I have not really had a whole lot of contact with certain people from certain production companies, so I’m certainly uncertain whether I’m allowed to mention things or not, but hopefully the worst that can happen is they find my blog and tell me to remove this post, so…

News for your eyeballs:
In December of 2013, I was contacted by a production company who was very interested in making a motion picture adaptation of Lisa, and I agreed to climb on board with this. For the last six months, I’ve been working with (or rather waiting on, for the most part) a screen writer on an outline, which I finally got to read about a month ago. I’m fairly sure that I’m not at liberty to breathe a single word about that, but I will say, he did a fairly good job, though he did change the characters up quite a bit, which… I can understand, I guess, because that’s how Hollywood works.
So needless to say, it won’t really be an exact copy of the thing I wrote, but it should at least include the notebook, which will make it obvious enough that it’s based off my work. Yay.

In other news, I am currently working on another visual story that is quite a bit different from Lisa and Tyler. (Also, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have used the name Tyler, because people keep associating it with Fight Club, which had nothing at all to even do with my decision to use that name.)
The new story is from the perspective of a much older person- someone about my age who knowingly has issues, but just doesn’t quite understand the gravity of said issues. Supposing that they are actually issues, and not something more. As much fun as I had making Lisa and Tyler, I am having worlds more fun with the new project, so I hope that you will like it as much, even though it lacks the endearing childhood innocence of the other two. They were gems, but after awhile, that theme gets a bit old and overused, so I’ve gotta come up with new ways to make visually disturbing artwork.

Trust me. It’ll be good.

Anyway, that’s all for now, so let that one sit on your lobes for awhile, and in the meantime, summer is the best time of year for a nice, refreshing glass of brain juice!



Famous Actress reads lines from The Pink Backpack

As I was browsing the internet, I came across someone who had created a narration of my story and actually held auditions for voice actors, completely unbeknownst to me. I decided to get in touch with him/her and see if (s)he wouldn’t mind crediting me, which (s)he agreed to do. But in addition, (s)he informed me that, after the deadline was finished and the project was complete, (s)he received an audition from Ashlyn Selich– a professional actress.

Unfortunately, Turdpress is a twit who doesn’t like to let you imbed videos without paying them money.

I wasn’t sure if it was okay for me to post this. But I figured it’s my work she’s reading from, so who can complain?